RANSVESTIA

I kissed her roughly and even though she winced she also touched. me and began to shiver. "I'm not a man," I said clearly into her ear.

She froze into my arms. Then a strange cry came from her mouth. She tried to pull away but I held onto her. She twisted her head away I tried to kiss her.

as

"I was born Alice Ivanich," I said as she tried to put her slender hands over her ears. The long earrings grated wildly. I held her hands down, forcing "her" to listen. "And look at me. Six foot four and muscles to match. Every woman's dream!" I added bitterly. "But what woman really wants to look like a man, like me?"

She struggled, but I held her easily. "You tricked me," Romy hissed. Even though we'd exchanged our true sexual identities, there is still no way that I can think of Romy but as "she" or as a "her." "All this time, I've been killing myself slowly, thinking of you, and what I could do to make you happy." Her voice rose. "I'd even have changed my sex for you!" She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her femininely pitched voice.

"You wouldn't have anyway?" I asked sardonically.

She was outraged. "Of course not!" she snapped. "I've always envied Cindy her finding someone like Adelie. I guess I can go on looking now."

I was stunned. Somehow it had all gone wrong. I hadn't thought it all out, not daring to, but the whole idea of Romy and I had seemed somehow just the right solution to what we really were, what we wanted and how others would see us.

I tried to caress her but she pulled away. She slipped off the bed and went hunting for a cigarette. "You want me to leave?" I asked. She still hadn't realized how much it had taken out of me to bare myself like this to anyone.

"I've spent my whole life being honest," she said bitterly to the porthole, "even when it's hurt me and caused me great embarrass- ment. Even when people sneered at me, I've told the truth. She undid the pins holding up her hair, letting it cascade back over her neck. "I wouldn't say that I want you to leave. But if you stay, you have to be

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